So, this week has been weird for me. I couldn't keep the day of the week straight to save my life! fortunately, i woke up this AM remembering it was friday! I wasn't just excited because it was the end of the week... no no, it was my first day as a clinic sub! Since I graduated in May 2009 with my Associates degree in nursing, I have yet to find a nursing job. It has been overwhelming to think about how much hard work I put into getting my degree and now not be able to find a job. So, fast forward almost 2 year, I FINALLY GO TO BE A NURSE!!!!!
So, clinic sub duty was pretty fun. I started of really nervous and stayed pretty nervous through the day. I had a lot of diabetic kids come... the amount i had was unusual for a school. A lot of headaches and stomach aches... i think because it was Friday. I don't think i provided anyone with bad care. I even had to check on kid for lice (my head is still itching!). It was fun and I am looking forward to next week when I am at a middle school 2 days and an elementary school 1. I am a little more nervous about the elementary school. I just dont know how that day will go. So pray that nothing major happens!
This weekend I think i will really try to get some cleaning done. I am horrible at cleaning! I just hate it! I also need to take Brink (my dog) to the vet. He has some weird skin thing going on. He scratches constantly, to the point of hairless red skin. it is pretty nasty and I thought it would get better, but it hasn't.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Thinking... lots of thinking
So... trying to stick with once a week posting. I just forget about it.
My week: pretty easy. The girls only went to school one day, so I had lots of cuddle time with them! I love cuddle time.
Yesterday I was a horrible person (at least in thinking and for the first part of the day). I was watching the today show and they were doing the segment about birthdays of people who are over 100. This lady popped up that was celebrating her 107th birthday. do you know what my very first thought was? If you would have shared the wealth and died 15 years ago maybe my grandmother would still be alive. Okay, yes I felt bad after I thought it but i still felt it. Yes I know logically it doesn't make sense and her life had no bearing on my grandmother's life or death... but i still felt it. horrible i know.
After i was done being horrible, I took the girls to the park. they love the park... they love being outside! After we played for about an hour went to to lunch with Granna (my mom). then I pushed my limits and headed to the grocery story. They were so good all day for me... no nap and all! I am sure my sister was cursing me last night, but i dont care!
While we were in the care yesterday, I came across a song that i used to just love... and now it just make so much sense to me. it is :world spins madly on" by the weepies. okay here are the lyrics:
My week: pretty easy. The girls only went to school one day, so I had lots of cuddle time with them! I love cuddle time.
Yesterday I was a horrible person (at least in thinking and for the first part of the day). I was watching the today show and they were doing the segment about birthdays of people who are over 100. This lady popped up that was celebrating her 107th birthday. do you know what my very first thought was? If you would have shared the wealth and died 15 years ago maybe my grandmother would still be alive. Okay, yes I felt bad after I thought it but i still felt it. Yes I know logically it doesn't make sense and her life had no bearing on my grandmother's life or death... but i still felt it. horrible i know.
After i was done being horrible, I took the girls to the park. they love the park... they love being outside! After we played for about an hour went to to lunch with Granna (my mom). then I pushed my limits and headed to the grocery story. They were so good all day for me... no nap and all! I am sure my sister was cursing me last night, but i dont care!
While we were in the care yesterday, I came across a song that i used to just love... and now it just make so much sense to me. it is :world spins madly on" by the weepies. okay here are the lyrics:
Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on
Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on
I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still
Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on
I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on.
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on
Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on
I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still
Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on
I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on.
I am so stuck in this right now. Why does the world keep going... why does everyone else get to keep moving on and I am just so stuck? It sucks... these words are my life. and while I think this song is referring to a romantic relationship, it is all of my relationships... it is losing on of my best friends, my grandmother's death, my friends lives being set into motion and mine just wont get started no matter how hard I try. I just want to stay in bed and sink. But i don't. I'll put a video up with the song at the end of the post. it is an awesome song.
On to different and not as depressing things. I am hungry! Church is having a Back Lot Film Festival today and I am part of the group that helps set it up. It is really an honor to finally be involved in it's 4th year. It is a really fun event where people from church creates movies and we all get together, dress up, and treat it like the oscars. I am running late right now to get back up to the church and keep decorating for it. It will be a great night and I am excited. I'm not getting all dressy dressy. The original plan was to do duct tape dresses... then it was for 20s style flapper dresses (most i think stuck with this) but I didn't ever do my dress... so I', not sure what I am wearing yet.
I think that is is for now. I know I had a lot more to say thinking about this post, now it is just all gone from my head. oh well. enjoy the song.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
updating is hard
I suck at blogging. okay now that is off my chest and I can start to try and be better. I read 2 blogs regularly and i am jealous of their commitment. of course i did start this for me and have no readers, so no big.
So, it has been 2 weeks and a lot has happened. I'll start with the Free Fallin' retreat. It was last weekend and it was awesome. We went to this place in alabama. It was really great to get away and relax (a little hiccup in that, but i'll tell you about that later). I got to shoot a gun for the first time ever! Oh, holy cow I want a shot gun! TOO MUCH FUN!!!!!! I think i did okay for my first time (10/25 and 9/25). It rained most of the weekend. I can;t really talk about the weekend much because it was mostly just relaxing. We did have sessions of God time and those were good. Saturday night we did a cool thing. We talked about what we are struggling with and mine was jealousy. After we discussed it we got to throw the piece of paper we were writing on in the fire. It was good, but my paper did not go in the fire. I'm not ready to let go of that and I have never been fake before and i wasn;t about to start then. I talked about my jealousy of people life stages. I am 26 and thought i would be married and on my way to kid #2 by now. I thought I would have an amazing nursing career and being doing something with my life.... i mean just something! I am not and that is hard for me when I look around and see people where i want to be, where i thought i would be by now. I also talk about my jealousy of my family who got to experience things with my Grandmother before she passed. I think i did a post on that a month or so ago. Sunday we got up and cleaned some and left. It was a good and relaxing weekend and I think we made some of the bonds among our class stronger.
The hiccup in the retreat Sarurday.... one of my best friend's weddings! Sam got married! Drew and i drove from the retreat on saturday morning to be a part of this very special day. I was nervous going about how i would feel. A little background to that statement: I love sam... i have for nearly half my life. I did not feel weird. I could not sit there, seeing sam beaming with pure joy and not be excited for him. I wish i knew lindsey better and i hope that will change in the future, but i wont hold my breath for that one. We did not stay long and that makes me sad. But we said our congrats and got back on the road to get back to the retreat. I am sad now but not for the reason one might think. Sam and I have had a special relationship from the beginning. I was 13 and he was a guy i had a crush on but lived too far away from. We met at summer camp and from there a great friendship developed. He has been there every step of the way for me the past 13 years and i would do anything for him. I am sad now because that has to change. We are just in different life stages and while that is hard enough with same sexed friends, the complications are far worse with opposite sexed friends. He will continue to be one of my best friends, but at midnight when i have a crazy thought or need a shoulder to cry on, he can't be my go to person. But with all of that said, I am so happy for him and lindsey! I pray that their lives and filled with happiness for many many years to come.
Other exciting news. I got my first clinic sub jobs! I was officially approved to start subbing on tuesday of this week and i got a class thursday to sub for 2 days at the same school. I took those. then friday I got a call to sub somewhere else that day, but i was already watching the girls and cleaning. It looks like this is going to be good for me. Other job news: there isn't really any which is good news. I have about 6 applications that i sent out a week ago and only one has come back as a no. That is a vast improvement.
So, time changes soon and I need to sleep. Bye for now blogger world!
So, it has been 2 weeks and a lot has happened. I'll start with the Free Fallin' retreat. It was last weekend and it was awesome. We went to this place in alabama. It was really great to get away and relax (a little hiccup in that, but i'll tell you about that later). I got to shoot a gun for the first time ever! Oh, holy cow I want a shot gun! TOO MUCH FUN!!!!!! I think i did okay for my first time (10/25 and 9/25). It rained most of the weekend. I can;t really talk about the weekend much because it was mostly just relaxing. We did have sessions of God time and those were good. Saturday night we did a cool thing. We talked about what we are struggling with and mine was jealousy. After we discussed it we got to throw the piece of paper we were writing on in the fire. It was good, but my paper did not go in the fire. I'm not ready to let go of that and I have never been fake before and i wasn;t about to start then. I talked about my jealousy of people life stages. I am 26 and thought i would be married and on my way to kid #2 by now. I thought I would have an amazing nursing career and being doing something with my life.... i mean just something! I am not and that is hard for me when I look around and see people where i want to be, where i thought i would be by now. I also talk about my jealousy of my family who got to experience things with my Grandmother before she passed. I think i did a post on that a month or so ago. Sunday we got up and cleaned some and left. It was a good and relaxing weekend and I think we made some of the bonds among our class stronger.
The hiccup in the retreat Sarurday.... one of my best friend's weddings! Sam got married! Drew and i drove from the retreat on saturday morning to be a part of this very special day. I was nervous going about how i would feel. A little background to that statement: I love sam... i have for nearly half my life. I did not feel weird. I could not sit there, seeing sam beaming with pure joy and not be excited for him. I wish i knew lindsey better and i hope that will change in the future, but i wont hold my breath for that one. We did not stay long and that makes me sad. But we said our congrats and got back on the road to get back to the retreat. I am sad now but not for the reason one might think. Sam and I have had a special relationship from the beginning. I was 13 and he was a guy i had a crush on but lived too far away from. We met at summer camp and from there a great friendship developed. He has been there every step of the way for me the past 13 years and i would do anything for him. I am sad now because that has to change. We are just in different life stages and while that is hard enough with same sexed friends, the complications are far worse with opposite sexed friends. He will continue to be one of my best friends, but at midnight when i have a crazy thought or need a shoulder to cry on, he can't be my go to person. But with all of that said, I am so happy for him and lindsey! I pray that their lives and filled with happiness for many many years to come.
Other exciting news. I got my first clinic sub jobs! I was officially approved to start subbing on tuesday of this week and i got a class thursday to sub for 2 days at the same school. I took those. then friday I got a call to sub somewhere else that day, but i was already watching the girls and cleaning. It looks like this is going to be good for me. Other job news: there isn't really any which is good news. I have about 6 applications that i sent out a week ago and only one has come back as a no. That is a vast improvement.
So, time changes soon and I need to sleep. Bye for now blogger world!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Little blurp!
I haven't posted in a while... i will update you on my weekend later. it was long, busy, hard, fun, and needed... should be a fun and long post.
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