I suck at blogging. okay now that is off my chest and I can start to try and be better. I read 2 blogs regularly and i am jealous of their commitment. of course i did start this for me and have no readers, so no big.
So, it has been 2 weeks and a lot has happened. I'll start with the Free Fallin' retreat. It was last weekend and it was awesome. We went to this place in alabama. It was really great to get away and relax (a little hiccup in that, but i'll tell you about that later). I got to shoot a gun for the first time ever! Oh, holy cow I want a shot gun! TOO MUCH FUN!!!!!! I think i did okay for my first time (10/25 and 9/25). It rained most of the weekend. I can;t really talk about the weekend much because it was mostly just relaxing. We did have sessions of God time and those were good. Saturday night we did a cool thing. We talked about what we are struggling with and mine was jealousy. After we discussed it we got to throw the piece of paper we were writing on in the fire. It was good, but my paper did not go in the fire. I'm not ready to let go of that and I have never been fake before and i wasn;t about to start then. I talked about my jealousy of people life stages. I am 26 and thought i would be married and on my way to kid #2 by now. I thought I would have an amazing nursing career and being doing something with my life.... i mean just something! I am not and that is hard for me when I look around and see people where i want to be, where i thought i would be by now. I also talk about my jealousy of my family who got to experience things with my Grandmother before she passed. I think i did a post on that a month or so ago. Sunday we got up and cleaned some and left. It was a good and relaxing weekend and I think we made some of the bonds among our class stronger.
The hiccup in the retreat Sarurday.... one of my best friend's weddings! Sam got married! Drew and i drove from the retreat on saturday morning to be a part of this very special day. I was nervous going about how i would feel. A little background to that statement: I love sam... i have for nearly half my life. I did not feel weird. I could not sit there, seeing sam beaming with pure joy and not be excited for him. I wish i knew lindsey better and i hope that will change in the future, but i wont hold my breath for that one. We did not stay long and that makes me sad. But we said our congrats and got back on the road to get back to the retreat. I am sad now but not for the reason one might think. Sam and I have had a special relationship from the beginning. I was 13 and he was a guy i had a crush on but lived too far away from. We met at summer camp and from there a great friendship developed. He has been there every step of the way for me the past 13 years and i would do anything for him. I am sad now because that has to change. We are just in different life stages and while that is hard enough with same sexed friends, the complications are far worse with opposite sexed friends. He will continue to be one of my best friends, but at midnight when i have a crazy thought or need a shoulder to cry on, he can't be my go to person. But with all of that said, I am so happy for him and lindsey! I pray that their lives and filled with happiness for many many years to come.
Other exciting news. I got my first clinic sub jobs! I was officially approved to start subbing on tuesday of this week and i got a class thursday to sub for 2 days at the same school. I took those. then friday I got a call to sub somewhere else that day, but i was already watching the girls and cleaning. It looks like this is going to be good for me. Other job news: there isn't really any which is good news. I have about 6 applications that i sent out a week ago and only one has come back as a no. That is a vast improvement.
So, time changes soon and I need to sleep. Bye for now blogger world!
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